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You may have heard about the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, because the book has been around since 2009, but do you know what they are?  Here is a brief synopsis:

  • Words of Affirmation — actions are nice, but some people really need to hear the words too
  • Quality Time — full attention counts for a lot
  • Gifts — it’s literally the thoughtfulness that matters, not the money
  • Acts of Service — feeling taken care of
  • Physical Touch — not just sex, but all types of physical affection

What gets tricky here is that each of us has our favorite ways of receiving love, so we tend to express love in the same way.  But our spouse may need to receive love in their favorite ways, so our best efforts may not come across.  So we need to learn to speak each other’s language.

To see a longer description, here’s a great link.  And to learn more about your own particular style, go to the source, at Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages website.


I’m excited to say that I’ll be giving a talk on “Getting Past the Holiday Blues” at the Simi Valley Chamber of Commerce Wellness Wednesday meeting.  It happens Wednesday, January 17, from 12-1 pm, at the Chamber offices at 40 W Cochran St # 100, Simi Valley.  The phone number for more info is 805-526-3900.

If you can’t make it at that time, fear not.  I’ll be posting the entire talk here after it’s over.  The most certain way to know when it’s posted is to subscribe to our blog — just look to your right on our sidebar.  Or follow our Facebook page at Facebook.com/Families.Counseling.Simi.Valley , and I’ll post the link to it there as well.

I hope you can make it.  Please share this with anyone who might be interested.  It should be fun and informative.

Stevensons Ranch FIreAll of California has been dealing with fire this season.  First in Northern California, and more recently in Southern California, it seems that all of us know at least one person who has been directly and severely impacted by the fires.

Here are two links to very helpful information that I encourage you to share.  As always, if someone finds these tools aren’t enough, please encourage them to call for individual help from a licensed therapist.

CAMFT tip sheet (California Assoc. of Marriage and Family Therapists)

More CAMFT tips in brochure form

What’s your reason for the season?

Snowflake -- 'Explored 10 December 2014'We are well into the holiday season, past Thanksgiving (which seems forever ago), heading into Christmas. The countdown is on, there’s not enough time, there’s so much to do. But wait, we do want to slow down and enjoy the season, right?

But what is the reason for the season? It may really vary, depending on a person’s views on religion and faith. Have you taken the time to consider why you do what you do at this time of year? Thinking it through may well help you streamline, and remove some stress. Continue Reading…

7 Rules for a More Positive Attitude

❤ Happy Valentine´s Day ❤Life can be difficult, and sometimes we get discouraged. So often, our attitude is the result of how we think and on what we choose to focus. Here are seven rules for having a better attitude.

  1. Wait to Worry.  What were you worried about last year?  Did any of it really happen?  There are a thousand things to worry about, and only one outcome, at worst, is possible for each circumstance.  So train your mind to hold off on worry, especially about things that can’t be fixed right now.
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