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Marriage and Relationships

Recently Time Magazine, in its April 11 issue, published a thought-provoking article on the effects viewing pornography can have on sexual performance and desire in young men.  It may not come as a surprise that viewing pornography online can quickly turn into an addiction, and that it an create a very unrealistic and distorted view… Read More

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsMost therapists find that working with couples can be very difficult.  There’s often a lot of emotion in the room, and a lot of issues from the past that arise.   That’s one reason that I find it so satisfying.  When I can help two people recognize how their hurts are impacting the relationship, and… Read More

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsMoney is one of the most argued about topics for many couples.  It’s also a topic that many people like to avoid, so it’s not surprise that couples may date, get engaged, and even marry without having any significant conversation about how they view and handle money. Watching our parents deal (or not) with financial… Read More

When life throws things at us, we try hard to make sense of the chaos.  This is especially true in our relationships, both at home and elsewhere.  We have interactions, we pick up signals, things just happen, and in an effort to make sense of it all, we tell ourselves stories.  As author Brene Brown… Read More

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsIf you’ve read my posts over the years, then you know that a) I love my work and b) I take it very seriously. People who call my office literally entrust their treasures to me…their own emotional health, that of their children, and perhaps most importantly, the health of their marriage. I think marital counseling… Read More

14 Ways to Create the Best Relationship of Your Life I wish I had written this article , but at least second best is finding it and posting about it.  Dr. Sue Johnson, a world-renowned trainer of couples’ therapists and author of several books, wrote a guest post and gave some wonderful ideas about how… Read More

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsThere’s a great internet resource for material on how to improve your marriage at the website SmartMarriages.com.  It is definitely worth your time to take a look.  There is info for couples thinking about marriage, like premarital questionnaires and wedding sermons.  You’ll find tons of resources for skills on how to improve your marriage, and… Read More

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsAccording to the well-respected website Smart Marriages, the number one predictor of divorce for couples is “avoidance of conflict”.  If you think about it, it makes sense.  If a couple knows how to resolve conflicts, then they can solve just about any problem.  If they don’t, then even the smallest problems build up. Learning how… Read More

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make your special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into relationships: The 5 Love Languages®, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times… Read More

Here is a great video that, ironically, should be shared with everyone you know. http://blog.petflow.com/this-is-a-video-everyone-needs-to-see-for-the-first-time-in-my-life-im-speechless/… Read More

You may have heard about the “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, because the book has been around since 2009, but do you know what they are?  Here is a brief synopsis: Words of Affirmation — actions are nice, but some people really need to hear the words too Quality Time — full attention counts… Read More

As part of our “Best of Families Counseling” series, we are featuring a post by Shannon Strull, M.A., L.M.F.T. (#40474), titled “Couples Communication 101”.    In it she gives some great tips for couples that will help right away… Read More

Sue Johnson is a researcher and author in the field of couples’ therapy, and the developer of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.  She is very well regarded by professionals, and is also the author of “Hold Me Tight”, a great book for couples seeking to deepen their emotional connection. In a recent Psychology Today article, she… Read More

Sometimes it just seems to happen by luck, and other times it seems like it will never happen. It is certainly a topic that gets discussed often in a therapist’s office: how will I meet the right person to marry? And, how will I know if that person is right for me? How to meet… Read More

Here’s a great column on how one couple is trying to solve the age-old problem of feeling “taken for granted”. Take a look and see what you think.  … Read More

Here’s a great letter from Annie’s Mailbox (successor to Ann Landers) from a man who learned what’s important in marriage. Great advice for all of us, just in time for Valentine’s Day. And for me, just in time for Lent, when the most productive fasting is to fast from what comes out of my mouth… Read More

As a new school year begins, here is a truly excellent review by Cari Thompson from momiforward.com of some great concepts that help make (and keep) a marriage healthy. There are wonderful pointers in this article about communication, anger, resolving conflict, intimacy, and even sleep! Pay close attention to the section on “The 5 Love… Read More

I found this article our local paper’s Business section, by Alex Veiga.  What a good day for advice for couples! With these money manners, I thee wed  … Read More

I found this column by Sharon Randall in our local paper today.  Apparently it’s a reprint from several years ago, but the advice is well-worth repeating! 25 tips for staying married article… Read More

This weekend an exciting event is taking place at StoneBridge Community Church in Simi Valley.  The Art of Marriage is a six-video presentation that helps couples learn to improve their relationship skills.  The range of topics covered includes the meaning and purpose of marriage, communication, roles, acceptance and much much more. The series takes place… Read More

How to find the right balance between work and life is a dilemma for many of us. Here’s a wonderful quote I just came across. I think it’s great, and hope you do too! Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and… Read More

Nobody likes to argue, but if we need to have a argument, it certainly helps to have some conflict resolution skills.  Everyone can benefit from learning how to “fight fair” — couples, family members, co-workers — all of us can benefit from better skills. The link for “Fighting Fair to Resolve Conflict” is from The… Read More

I just read a great column in today’s Ventura County Star about a fun and easy way to take a look at your attitudes about money.  Syble Solomon, who gives lectures on the psychology of money, has created a deck of cards called “Money Habitudes” that individuals, couples and groups can use to understand how… Read More

I found some great hints in my copy of the Psychotherapy Networker by Steven Stosny, Ph.D.,  who works with couples and other with relationship problems.  You can read more about his programs at CompassionPower.  I’m going to quote very liberally from what he wrote, because it is well-done and so concise. He asks couples to… Read More

In my last post, I took the position that it is getting harder and harder for some young adults to successfully “launch”; that is, to move out of their parents’ house and become independent.   I state that there are two main areas where parents have gotten off track.  One  is regarding helping their children plan… Read More