I have many clients, especially people who are looking for a counselor, ask if I am a Christian counselor. What I’ve come to learn is that this term can mean different things to different people. What I’d like to address here is some of the meanings of the term “Christian counselor”, why even people who don’t identify themselves as Christians might enjoy seeing a Christian counselor, and why people of different belief systems, especially those practicing Judaism and Islam, might be especially comfortable seeing a counselor who is a practicing Christian as opposed to someone who practices no faith at all.
In my experience, new clients who call asking for a Christian counselor are looking for one of several things. Some are looking for what is call a Bible-based counselor. This would be someone who extensively uses Scripture in the counseling session, who might ask clients to read certain Bible passages between sessions, and who may very pro-actively point out that certain behaviors, or lack of them, go against what the Bible directs.
Others who seek a Christian counselor are trying to find someone who shares their belief system, who practices their own faith, and who states that they try to apply that faith to their own lives. Practicing Christians who are facing difficult decisions in their marriage, with their children, or in other areas of their lives want to know that the person they are working with operates with the same basic set of beliefs. This is even more important when a family is seeking counseling for their child or teenager. It is difficult for people who do not actively practice a faith to know how important it is to a family to know that their counselor shares their values. For instance, there is reassurance in knowing that a counselor will not view divorce or abortion as “just another option”, and that they will help teens value themselves and their sexuality as something very special and God-given.
Some people who call asking if I am a Christian counselor want to see me for other reasons, but are worried that as a “Christian counselor” I might try to evangelize them, or impose my beliefs on them, or judge them for not practicing some sort of faith.
I think what is most important to me as a Christian counselor is find out early on what each family’s and individual’s values are, and be sure to support those if I can. Indeed, that is ethically required of every licensed therapist. I suppose it is possible that, in doing so, a client might find that I am not the right therapist for them. In over 25 years of practice, I am not aware of that happening once we have actually decided to meet for therapy. Again, every licensed therapist has an ethical obligation to work within the value system of the client, or refer the client to another therapist. I think what I bring to the table as a Christian counselor is a willingness to explore more deeply the origins and future ramifications of different decisions a client may be considering.
And what if the client is a practitioner of a different non-Christian faith, such as Judaism, Islam or some other faith? Over the years, I have found that these clients have very much appreciated working with a therapist who appreciated the importance of their faith, and shared a sense of that importance, even if our practices were different. My belief is that those who are strong believers in God, from whatever viewpoint, share a common bond with other believers, more so than with people who don’t have that strength of belief. So I have been privileged over the years to work with many Christians, and quite a few Jews and Muslims. We have done good work together in therapy, and I believe they have left my office very satisfied with the experience.
Where does that leave the new client who does not practice any faith at all, when searching for a therapist? Should they avoid seeing a Christian therapist? Not at all. Again, every therapist should be able to respect the values and beliefs of every client with whom they work. If they cannot, for whatever reason, they are obligated to refer that client elsewhere. I see many clients who, while they may know I am a Christian, have let me know that what they want from therapy doesn’t involve faith at this time. I respect that completely, and again, we have done good work together.
My suggestion for anyone looking for a therapist is to talk to the therapist about what I call “parameters of therapy”. Ask the therapist a little about their background and circumstances. Don’t worry that your questions may be too personal. I tell my clients to ask me anything, and if I don’t want to answer something for personal reasons, I’ll simply say so and we’ll move on from there. If you ask some questions, you will probably get a good enough sense of the therapist to decide if a first appointment feels right. By the end of the first appointment, you will almost certainly know if this therapist is right for you.
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A mind therapy that has been stretched will never return to its original dimension.